Self-Love isn’t a Straight Road

Lately I have felt twisted into a ball of chaos.

I have had a crazy few months with an abundance of changes – new job, new doctor (= new meds), (LOTS) car troubles, loss and gain of relationships, tons of traveling (followed by a fun week of being very sick), our studio shut down due to flooding, and to top it all off I was rear ended this week.

It’s easy to shutdown when times get tough. To let yourself be the victim and wait around for things to get better. But life doesn’t work that way.

You are in charge.

You are the catalyst of your life.

You can’t control what life throws your way, but you can control how you react.

I admit, I did let myself play the victim – poor me (literally) – the girl that’s broke and nothing is going right.

So I did what I always do; hermit. When Friday night came, I laid in bed until Sunday night. The studio being shut down also made it easy to stay in my “safe space”. But is it really that safe when you’re eating junk food, oversleeping, and watching hours of Netflix?

So I decided to take action.

Adjust my safe space.

Get up and clean up.

Declutter.

Be conscious with my eating.

Use my strengths I was blessed with.

Do yoga – even if it’s a home or work; even if it’s for a minute or an hour.

I walked into June focusing on self-love and more importantly, acceptance. As I’ve grown I’ve learned the journey of self-love isn’t easy. It’s actually hard. It has ups and downs. You have to face things you’ve been avoiding and take responsibility for your actions. You also need to remember not every act is done to bring you down. It’s there to teach you – or someone else a lesson.

When I was sick last week, it seemed I would never feel better but then I shared with my coworker how this reminds of my life recently. Things slowly build up and eventually they will (feel like they’ve) exploded. But after that explosion, you begin uphill again and remember to find gratitude for the little things – like BREATHING. Good friends. Accomplishments.

There will always be bridges built along your path that you aren’t ready to cross. But I promise you this- if you keep with your routine, surround yourself with “your” people, and find gratitude in the little things, it will get better.

You will be stronger and more flexible.

Understanding and patient.

So the next time you’re there, start with some compassion and take it slow.

Control the controllable.

Take time for yourself.

Trust things will get better and that light will be brighter once you see it again.

Posted by

My name is Lauren and I am yogi and marketing specialist in my mid-20s living in KC after spending a few years finding myself in SF. I love laughing, teaching, learning, Broad City & Workaholics (I tend to clump them together), cooking, trying new things (sounds cliché, but it's true!), writing, art of any kind, growing, bending (my mind and my body), and most importantly, my friends and family. I created The Loving Lotus as a space for me to unwind and share basically all of the above. I am so happy you made it here and would love to hear your thoughts on my page or just talk over a glass of wine or coffee. Feel free to contact me about either. Or both. 🙂

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