February 9, 2017
As I have been taking time for myself and relearning self-love this week, I’ve been doing a lot of reading; this particular section struck a chord. A section prior to this explained values – both good and bad. I won’t go into that right now.
But one, to my surprise, as a bad value, was “positivity.” Now growing up and throughout my life, all I hear is to “Stay Positive,” “Look at the Bright Side,” or my favorite “Things could be worse.” Yes, they could worse, but that doesn’t make my feelings in this moment any less true or valuable.
Mark Manson actually says “Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction.” I’m slowly learning that I don’t always have to find the bright side. I don’t always have to be happy. I don’t always have to be smiling. Sometimes things hurt really fucking bad and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you should dismiss it. Or pretend it’s not there just because society sees it as a weakness.
No, you should take it all in. Embrace it. Understand it. Use it to appreciate the small things you didn’t before. Use it to become stronger for the next struggle that life throws at you; because we all know there will be more. Except next time you’ll have better coping mechanisms. Or you will realize you have survived worse. And most of all, that it will pass. And when it does, the happiness that eventually follows will grow stronger and through a softer lens that makes you appreciate each and everything you are blessed with that much more.